"Chinese and a fist pound, please."

One night I was hanging with my buddy Bobby and some of his football friends. As usual, I was the only girl amongst many farting guys, watching sports and stupid guy shows or playing xbox. When it was time to start the game playing, we made our way back to Bobby's friends room where the xbox was located. The only place to sit on other than the floor, was the bed; the only place more questionable than the bed was the floor, so I chose the bed. I've sat on many college guys creepy and crusty beds, but this was by far the worst yet. A full size frame-less bed with little kid sheets, and who knows what else was on there. So I took the safest looking outer corner where I could make an easy escape, if necessary. The worst part about the crusty bed was the piece of foam under the fitted sheet. It was cut haphazardly, starting at the top left hand corner and ending near the bottom right hand corner. Awesome. Lumpy and crusty.

After the guys grew tired of game playing and taking turns mooning each other, Bobby and I made our way back to his place. First he stopped and picked up some chinese for dinner (I wasn't hungry). After we pulled up and got out of the car I told Bobby I was going to head out. After all, the whole night had been an ambush. What started as a casual invite to hang with him and some of our mutual friends at his place, turned into just the two of us sitting alone on his crusty awkward bed, and when that went nowhere, making our way to his friends crusty bed where all of his friends referred to me as "Bobby's girl" all night, which I ignored.

"Already? It's only 11:00." "I know but I'm beat, and I have to work early." "Alright". Bobby made his way toward me. Let me first preface this by saying him and I never are very good at goodbyes. They're always just...weird. We never hug, or really even look at each other, we just split. So as he leaned toward me I figured it was time to bring out the old fist pound. As I went in to pound it, he attempted to give me a side hug which went horribly wrong, and ended in us facing away from each other, my hand still in a tight fist thrust upward, and Bobby's mushu chicken was right in my face, further clouding the whole confusing ordeal. As soon as I could break away I did and we both mumbled our goodbyes while staring at the ground. As I made my way to my car I thought to myself "What the hell just happened?" Needless to say, it was another sufficiently awkward evening.