Saturday, November 6, 2010

I am lubberly like it's my job.

The past few weeks haven't really strayed from the norm. As usual I am living my life ungracefully but this week and last have been peppered more with constant, small awkward occurrences than the routine, colossal am I being punked?! moments that are commonplace; this story is about one of the more memorable moments from last week. Lubberly means a big clumsy fellow, in case you were wondering to yourself, "What the hell is lubberly?" Yeah, that's what it means. It also means clumsy seaman which...doesn't really work but whatever.

So this week I went on a road trip with one of my best friends Shea and ironically her boyfriend, Jay, to Virginia. Jay thinks he is a rapper (he's not), which made for a long a trip in the car with him "rapping" to Usher and listening to instrumental tracks throwing down his theme song he wrote about himself. After the two day drive we finally arrived in Virginia, and the relaxing week we had planned was long overdue. Lynchburg, Virginia is a small college town. All three of us have family and friends that attend one of the University's there so we planned to make a good time out of it with our college friends (none of us are in college right now, so we essentially wanted to live vicariously through our friends. That's normal, right?).

So one night the three of us, along with Shea's sisters that live in the area and some of Jay's friends, all went out to see a film at the dollar movie theater. Earlier that day, Shea jokingly told Jay he should hook me up with one of his hot friends since I'm newly single. I agreed but I was being completely serious; I was excited about the possibility of some new guy to at least flirt with and have fun. We got to the theater and were just waiting on Jay's friends before going in and getting our seats. Well, the turn out was disappointing. Two guys came, and one was very cute but of course, had a girlfriend! The good ones always do.

I was socializing with a few of the girls before going in and then abruptly Jay said, a little too loudly, "Jake, Brandon, I didn't introduce you! Ethel! Come over here! Guys, this is Ethel." Shoot me. I turned around, flummoxed, heat seeping into my cheeks. What is he doing?! Horrified I looked around at everyone's faces; yeah, they all seemed pretty embarrassed too, and happy that it was not them. I made my way towards the two guys, trying to keep eye contact and be nonchalant. I don't know why, considering they had no problem completely ignoring my existence. As I crossed the threshold toward their side of the room, I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach, before the reason for it even registered. Delilah, Shea's little sister pushed me right into Jake, the very un-single good looking, crush-worthy man that was currently pretending I wasn't there. Why she pushed me is still a mystery, but I don't even allow myself to ask questions like that anymore. Because small questions like that all add up to one enormous question which is, why is my life the way that it is?! It's better to just accept that I am a magnet for such things and move on.

Luckily I recovered my balance right before I could make matters worse and take everyone out in my path. Blushing and shaky I tried to laugh it off and extended my hand in greeting to Jake, trying to be a proper adult. Both guys reluctantly shook my hand, muttering their acknowledgment of me in hushed tones while avoiding my gaze. I slunk back to my corner of the room and hid behind Shea. At that moment I was ready for the trip to be over already.

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